Sickening Denial
by SwimmingInLane3
Summary: Albus Potter is terrible at hiding his emotions when it comes to Scorpius Malfoy. Everyone knows exactly how Albus feels, even Scorpius, though he pretends not to. Scorpius won't let himself give in to Albus, he couldn't do that to the boy. Despite all his reasons against being in a romantic relationship with Albus, the boy continues to push him.


_AN: This is a story that will make you feel all of the things. That is my warning to you_

_Disclaimer: I don't own any characters or places that are recognizable, they belong to J. _

* * *

Scorpius felt pressure on his shoulder. He didn't need to turn to see who it was that had their chin resting on him, attempting to read the letter in Scorpius' hand. There was only one person who was allowed to do such a thing without having to worry about the repercussions the Malfoy heir would hand out.

Albus Potter was once again failing at hiding how he liked him more than a friend. Scorpius let out a sigh and folded the letter in his hand. "There something you want Albus?" Scorpius asked, trying hard not to react towards the boy. The two had been away from each other over the summer months and it seemed that the distance had strengthened the connection between them. It was only the first week of their seventh year. Everyday Scorpius had to remind himself why it was that he just couldn't give in to the raven haired Slytherin. The letter only served as a reminder to him.

"I want to know what the letter says, obviously," the boy replied, replacing his chin with his hand and turning the blonde Slytherin to face him. "I'm worried about you Scor. You had that pissed off face again."

Scorpius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He opened his eyes again with a smile towards his concerned best friend. "Better?" he asked. It wasn't as hard to keep the smile on his face. He loved hearing that the boy cared about him, he loved how Albus failed and hiding his feelings, he loved how he seemed to understand that he shouldn't push Scorpius over certain topics like the state of their relationship. He loved Albus.

That was a problem though. He couldn't love Albus. He couldn't be anything more than friends with the boy. The world was cruel, cruel place and the letter in his hand only reminded him of it. He was doing Albus a favor, really, hiding what the letter contained. He was doing everyone a favor. He would rather the school worry about what the letter might contain rather than what the words actually meant.

"No," Albus said, shaking his head with a frown. "I don't want the fake you, I want the real you, without trying. " Albus let out a sigh and looked into Scorpius' silver eyes. "Please tell me what is going on. You can trust me." The was a pleading look in the boy's eyes and it pained Scorpius to look at him. The secret he had been carrying for almost two years now seemed to be pulling apart at the other boy. Enough for him to actually start begging to know what was happening.

"You're right," Scorpius replied finally, "And I will tell you Al, once- once I can trust myself as well." With that Scorpius took a step back and saw the hand that was on his shoulder fall to the side of the raven haired boy. He turned around and walked swiftly out of the common room, not looking back, not wanting to see the expression on Albus' face.

.: .: .:

"What in Merlin's name is wrong with you?!" Scorpius looked behind him to see Cordella Collins storming after him. Letting out a sigh he stopped and let the short Ravenclaw catch up to him. The two of them had just left care of magical creatures with Albus and Scorpius was rushing off to his Ancient ruins class while the other boy stayed behind to talk more with the professor. Cordella shared the next class with him, and while they usually didn't converse with each other, it seemed that she was mad at him for some reason.

"Right now, it would be that you are about to yell at me for some reason Collins, and the both of us have a class to get to." Scorpius reasoned. He started walking again once she caught up to him.

"Damn right I'm about to yell at you. You're a prat, you know that, right, Scorpius Malfoy," She all but screamed, flicking the brown hair out of her face to be sure that her piercing glare was clearly seen by the Slytherin.

Scorpius rolled his eyes, waiting for her to continue. Scorpius wasn't going to waste his breath asking what it was he supposedly done this time. The girl would continue on her rant the entire way up towards the sixth floor.

"Honestly, how can you not see it?!" She yelled, "You have this great best friend, right? A guy who truly cares about you and wants you to be happy, and you just don't see it. I don't understand. You spend every day with him, right? You of all people should be able to see it. Even the most oblivious in Hogwarts can see it. Everyone knows, people only have to look at the two of you and they can tell that there is something deeper than just friendship. It's like you refuse to see it, it is right in front of your face, right, and you just ignore it. I can't go another class with the two of you anymore, I don't think anyone can."

Scorpius scowled down at the girl, she used to word 'right' way too much and it only added to the annoyance of the lecture she was giving him. "What exactly are you going on about Collins?" Scorpius drawled out, knowing full well what she was talking about. Of course he saw it, it was hard not to.

"You and Albus of course!" her yell wasn't as loud anymore now that they were in the halls of the castle.

Scorpius let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to deal with this right now, he had other things to worry about, such as why he wasn't able to just allow himself to see what everyone else saw. He wouldn't do that to Albus, he couldn't.

"What about me and Albus?" Scorpius said, gripping the stair rail tightly as he tripped on the steps, "What is it that is going on that the whole world sees and I don't?"

"That he loves you, obviously!" She yelled, causing a few people to look their way.

"No he doesn't," Scorpius said flatly, gripping the rail even tighter and focusing on his breathing. He blocked out Collins' new rant as he made his every move deliberate. He only had one more set of stairs to go, he could make it, he had to. He was stronger than this sickness.

There was a hand on his arm and Scorpius opened his eyes to glare at the girl. He ignored the fact that he couldn't remember closing his eyes, "Don't touch me," he growled, ripping his arm out of the girl's grasp and walked away from the stairs, relieved that he had finally made it.

"S-Scorpius," Collins' voice came out almost as a whisper. Scorpius would have been relieved that she wasn't shouting at him anymore if he could have ignored the worry that he heard in her voice.

"What?" He snapped, turning to give her a murderous glare. Even that didn't ease the girl off of him. He could see the confusion in the back of her eyes, the worry over her face. He didn't want this to happen. He didn't want people fussing over him. Why couldn't this thing that was plaguing him wait just one more year. One more year and he would be gone from everyone here, away from anyone who would notice something going wrong with him. He had planned on not even taking his seventh year, but Albus had talked him out of it. He couldn't say no to Albus for long.

"Are you alright?" she whispered, taking a step closer to him, bringing Scorpius back to the world around him.

"I'm fine," he snapped, turning on his heel and walking swiftly into the classroom. He set his stuff on the desk and sat down and his usual seat in the back, ignoring Cordella Collins' worried glances though the rest of the class. He already had his parents and Albus fussing over him, he didn't need anyone else.

.: .: .:

His name being called out was the only warning he got before he saw Albus' head appear in the gap of his curtains. He didn't have time to hide the blood covered handkerchief or fix his tossed hair. It wasn't enough of a warning to apply the glamour to his skin to make it appear almost healthy or get rid of the bags under his eyes. His personal plague had progressed over the weeks they had been at school. His body was unable to handle all of the moving around all the time and he had dropped his ancient ruins class for an easier time. All the while, he could feel Albus' worry seeping though his barriers. He couldn't hide it anymore.

He didn't look up at Albus, he couldn't. He couldn't see the worry and the pain that he knew would be on the boy's face. He couldn't see how all the pieces finally fell into place. He heard the bed creak and suddenly he was enveloped in warm arms.

"Bloody hell, Scorpius, you're freezing." Scorpius shuddered and wrapped his own arms around the boy. his eyes still closed, he couldn't take the look that he knew he would see on his best friend's face. He felt hands start to rub soothing circles in his back and Scorpius couldn't hold it back anymore. With a shuddering breath, Scorpius started to sob onto Albus' shoulder. He was relieved that Albus knew now and he didn't have to hide anymore, but at the same time he knew that nothing would be the same anymore. There would be a slight hesitation in everything that they did and Scorpius could only hope that Albus would try to understand why he kept this from him.

A hand left his back and he heard Albus mutter a silencing charm, one that he had forgotten to put up that night to hide his coughing and restlessness. His gratitude was shown only by more tears as he clung to his saving grace even tighter. He sobbed on the other boy's shoulder until he became too exhausted to do anything more than lay there in Albus' arms. He fell asleep in that position. It was the first time in a long time that he was able to sleep though most of the night.

When he woke the next morning Albus wasn't next to him anymore. Scorpius almost believed that it was a dream until he heard the voices in the room.

"Don't bother to wake him, Scor isn't feeling well," Albus said to one of the other dorm mates. Scorpius held back a sigh in relief, he really did love Albus.

"I heard his hacking all night, sounded horrendous." Ryan Hughes replied in a whisper.

"Woke me up. I ended up going down to the hospital wing and getting him a potion so he could sleep," Albus lied. Scorpius closed his eyes tightly, gripping the sheets, glad that Albus knew him well enough to know he wouldn't want anyone to know what was really going on.

There was silence as Scorpius heard the boys shuffling around. "You coming down to breakfast?" he heard Ryan ask, further away this time.

"Nah," was Albus' reply, "I'm going to see if I can manage to get him to the wing instead of getting the potions myself. You know how he is."

"Yeah, I know. I don't know why you put up with him like you do. I would have given up by now."

Albus chuckled in return, Scorpius could almost picture him shaking his head as well. "I could never give up on him." Scorpius swallowed, squeezing his eyelids closed tightly again. The determination in the boy's voice hit Scorpius at his core.

He heard the door close and the curtains opened. Scorpius looked up and saw Albus' face etched in worry for the first time. Albus swiftly moved to lie next to him, wrapping Scorpius once more in the warmth of his arms.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, Albus," Scorpius whispered, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to get the image out of his mind. Albus merely shushed him, telling him that it was alright. He felt Albus' lips press against his forehead.

The two of them laid there until the bell that started the first class of the day rung. Scorpius opened his eyes and tried his best to ignore the look that Albus was giving him. He knew that the boy couldn't help the look, much like his parents couldn't, much like his healers couldn't.

"You should get to class," Scorpius said as best he could. He winced at how dry his voice sounded, more like a whisper than a command.

"I'm not going anywhere Scor." Albus' gave him a small smile and Scorpius couldn't be any more grateful to have Albus as his best friend at the moment. The smile fell from his friends lips, though, as Albus ran a hand through Scorpius' pale hair. "We are going to have to talk about this, though. " Scorpius let out a sigh as Albus continued, "I need to know what is going on. I'm not going to let this subject drop anymore with the hope that you would eventually tell me. Were you even planning on telling me?"

Scorpius looked down, wanting to turn around but knowing that would just hurt Albus even more. "No," he answered weakly.

"Merlin, Scorpius," Albus let out a sigh, his hands still messing with the pale strands that were usually styled. Scorpius couldn't take the pain he heard in Albus' voice and shuddered. This is why he didn't want the boy to know. He didn't want to go through this part right here. He didn't want to hear the pain in his voice, didn't want to see the worry in his eyes, didn't want to know that he knew it would only be a matter of time before Scorpius ceased to exist. He wanted to be selfish and not deal with the problems that were given to him. He didn't want to know what the aftermath would be like. It was too late now, though, there was no way to undo what happened.

"How, how long has this been going on?" Albus asked.

Scorpius was silent for a moment, looking up at Albus, silently pleading for the explanations to wait. Albus' face remained firm though, and Scorpius appreciated how the boy tried to keep the worry about of his face. Scorpius closed his eyes and sighed, "Fine," he let out. He started to sit up, pushing himself up. He was thankful that Albus didn't try to stop him and didn't try to help him either, he only wrapped an arm around his waist once they were both sitting.

"It was discovered that I had gernastic disease when I was about three." Scorpius let out a sigh and rested his head on Albus' shoulder. "It's a progressive disease that is given to a child at birth. It can be contracted when the baby has... complications... when being born, but that's not the point. It doesn't matter when I got it or how. All that matters is that I have it and that I'm going to..." Scorpius trailed off, biting his lip. He didn't mean to go that far.

"Okay," Albus breathed out, "Okay, we can get through this then." Scorpius smiled sadly at Albus' denial. Scorpius wasn't going to say anything against Albus' words. He knew the truth, but he wasn't going to throw that in Albus' face. The boy probably knew as well, and was just refusing to see it.

They were quite again for a few moments before Albus spoke up again. "Is this why we are only..." he trailed off, but Scorpius knew what he was asking.

"Yes," Scorpius sighed.

"That's stupid," Albus said, sitting up more and turning to face Scorpius. "You're the stupidest prat I know." he chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Scorpius'. "You being sick is not a good enough reason to stop this." With those words he closed the space between them.

Scorpius smiled into the kiss. It felt so good to finally kiss Albus, the love of his tragic life. To finally give in to the desire, to give in to the temptation that was Albus Potter. It was a slow kiss, filled with the promise of more at a later time.

It was a moment ruined when Scorpius had to pull away and cough into his elbow. Albus just laughed and kissed his forehead.

.: .: .:

For a while things were getting better. The next day, Scorpius felt well enough to go through the motions of Hogwarts. He argued with Albus for a bit about getting out and moving about. Albus playing the role of over protective boyfriend. In the end Scorpius had won when he said that everything gets better and feels better when he pushes himself.

They walked into the Great Hall hand in hand and a cheer went up when the first person noticed. Cordella Collins came up to them halfway through breakfast and tapped Scorpius on the shoulder. "Told ya," she said smiling at the pair.

"Indeed you did," Scorpius replied, letting her believe that he had only come to the realization she had tried to engrave into his mind.

Scorpius found each day becoming easier. Even his bad days were better. On those days he would force Albus to go to class. The boy would still skip one throughout the day and spend it with Scorpius, claiming that it was the only time he was really allowed to fuss over his poor sick boyfriend.

On Scorpius' good days the disease was almost an inside joke between the two of them. There were days when it was almost easy to forget that Scorpius was sick at all. Sometimes it would last for weeks at a time. The two settled into the relationship nicely and though Scorpius tried his best to hide when he was really bothered, Albus seemed to know still.

The winter holidays were approaching fast and both boys decided that they would stay at Hogwarts over the break. It would be easier and Scorpius didn't want to risk one of his bad days being on a travel day. His parents were quick to understand, though Albus' gave a fight in the beginning. They were kept in the dark about everything that was happening with Scorpius as well as everyone else. Eventually, though, they gave in and stopped fussing over the fact that Albus wouldn't be going home.

It was the day after everyone left when Scorpius said it. They were on one of the common room's more comfortable couches by the fire. He was in Albus' arms and the raven haired boy had pulled away from his lips to attack his neck, knowing his boyfriends limits.

"I love you," Scorpius breathed out. Albus pulled away and Scorpius looked into those bright emerald eyes.

"What did you say?" Scorpius saw the hope in Albus' face, the light in his eyes. There wasn't a trace of worry or sadness which made Scorpius smile even more as he said the words again.

"Albus," he breathed, looking him right in the eye and bringing a hand to rest on the boy's cheek, " I love you." He saw Albus' bright grin before his lips were attacked as Albus expressed how happy he was to hear the words.

"I love you too," he replied when he pulled away, looking into Scorpius' eyes. Scorpius smiled up at him. He never thought that he would hear those words. He knew them to be true but he feared that he would die before they were ever uttered.

Albus went back to kissing him, smoothly and sweetly. There was passion with each brush of his lips, each stroke of his fingers. Scorpius found himself pulling at Albus' shirt, slowly unbuttoning and tugging it from his pants.

"Someone's eager," Albus chuckled above him, but shrugged off his shirt none the less. Then he started to return the favor, pulling off Scorpius' jumper and then shirt as well before returning to snog Scorpius senseless.

Scorpius pulled away with a gasp as he felt Albus' hand pinch his nipple. His boyfriend knew from past experiments exactly where Scorpius liked to be touched and how. Scorpius pushed gently on Albus' shoulder, effectively getting them to turn over, even if it wasn't his own strength that had gotten him on top.

He started to move down his boyfriends neck, leaving a trail of kisses along the way. He loved being alone with Albus, he loved knowing that he could make his boyfriends shiver and moan out. It made him feel almost normal. He loved that Albus could make him feel like that.

"I want you," he whispered as he made his way back to Albus' head, "I'm ready, please don't make me wait any longer. "

"As long as you made me wait," Albus chuckled, "are you sure?"

"Positive. If I am going to be with you I want all that I can get in the time that we have together." He kissed Albus and ran his hand up his sides, feeling the shiver that Albus tired to suppress.

"Alright. Do you want to move to our beds?" He asked, already in the process of getting up.

"No," Scorpius answered, pushing at Albus' shoulders to get him to lie back down. "Right here, by the fire." Scorpius started to trail kisses along Albus' neck again, sliding his hands up and down his chest.

"We can do that then. " Albus rolled them over and trailed his lips down to Scorpius' chest. He gave each of Scorpius' nipples attention, sucking and nipping at them until they both were hardened peaks. he proceeded to move down Scorpius chest, his fingers tracing the indentions his ribs made. Scorpius moaned loudly when one of the boy's wandering hands found a place to rest on top of Scorpius' clothed crotch. Scorpius thrust his hip wanting more friction against his hardening member. Albus chuckled and put more pressure behind his hand.

Scorpius tugged Albus back up and kissed him, his hands moving down to unbutton his trousers. They both groaned out as Albus thrust forward, giving friction to both of them. Scorpius finally managed to get the trousers undone and slid his hand into his boyfriend's pants. He grinned at the sounds his boyfriend was making.

"You are going to kill me slowly," Albus chuckled, pulling the rest of his clothes off along with the rest of Scorpius'. The raven haired boy gazed down at him and let out a breath, "Merlin Scor, you're beautiful." Scorpius felt his face redden at the words and reached out to pull Albus back towards him.

He kissed Albus deeply, running his hands slowly up and down his unclothed sides. He gripped tightly at the exposed skin when he felt a finger probe at his entrance. He let out a strange sound, clenching around the intrusion.

"Relax babe," Albus breathed, pulling away from his lips and moving towards his ear. "Relax and it will get easier." Scorpius nodded and Albus started to move his finger again, stretching his boyfriend out. It was uncomfortable at first, but soon Scorpius was moving his hips in time with the fingers, moaning out when Albus added another and started a scissoring motion.

"Please," He breathed out, his hands moving along Albus' back, "I'm ready."

Albus nodded and picked up a wand, muttering a lubrication spell. He coated himself generously and positioned himself. He moved his lips back to kiss Scorpius before he thrust forward. Scorpius let out a moan, the pain and the pleasure intertwining. Albus groaned out at well and set a slow pace.

Scorpius started to thrust his hips forward once all the pain had left, leaving only pleasure. Albus moved to kiss Scorpius again. Changing the angle of his hips, Albus brushed something in Scorpius that caused him to break away and moan out loud. Scorpius left Albus chuckle as he moved down to kiss his neck, nipping every once and a while, hips searching out that spot again.

Scorpius moaned out again, arching his back as Albus hit that spot again. His an gripped tightly at Albus' shoulders, the boy getting the angle down and brushing his prostate with every thrust forward.

"I'm not gonna last much longer with you making noises like that," Albus muttered, nipping at Scorpius' neck, licking the mark afterwards. Scorpius gasped out as he felt Albus grip his member and move his hand up and down.

"Albus, I'm-" Scorpius was cut off by his own groan as he clenched around Albus and his orgasm overtook him. His back arched and Albus continued to thrust and rub against him. Albus let out a strangled sound and paused in his motions, coming right after Scorpius.

Albus pulled out of Scorpius and rolled them over, smiling up at the blonde. Scorpius smiled at him as well and lazily brushed the bangs out of Albus' shining emerald eyes. Albus wrapped an arm around Scorpius, pulling him in for a slow kiss.

"I love you," Albus breathed out as he pulled away.

"I love you too," Scorpius smiled and gave him another short kiss before resting his head on Albus' shoulder. Albus conjured a blanket and wrapped it around them. He started to rub soothing circles on Scorpius' back and the two fell asleep in front of the fire.

.: .: .:

Scorpius woke in Albus' arms, he could feel the steady heartbeat below his ear and he smiled. He was glad to be alive, glad to have Albus. He didn't remember the last time he had felt this well. He looked up and at the sleeping face and smoothed the hair out of Albus' eyes.

He didn't think that this would have been what their relationship would be like. Then again, he didn't think that they would ever have a relationship. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the tan shoulder. He glanced down at their tangled limbs and was shocked at what he saw.

He looked so unhealthy compared to Albus. his skin looked white, almost transparent, a few blue veins could be seen in the right lighting. His ribs were so visible it was almost as if there was nothing over them. He looked back up at Albus' face, unable to look at the contrast between them anymore. With one last look at his boyfriend's sleeping face, Scorpius pulled a blanket back over them and rested his head back on Albus' chest. The sound of his strong and steady heart lulling him to sleep again.

.: .: .:

Classes soon resumes and they went back into their usual routine. Things were getting easier bit by bit. Scorpius attempted to eat more and by spring, he didn't look as ghostly. He gained two pounds and could last longer in everything that he did with Albus. The boy was really helping and was doing his best to be supportive.

N.E.W.T. s were coming on strong and the two were studying every moment they could. Albus was taking the exams more seriously than Scorpius was, but Scorpius was putting up the front that he was caring about it as much as he could. He hated showing any difference from the people around him, even with something as simple as knowing that his exams wouldn't matter.

They were in the library at the moment. Scorpius was lazily reading through his history of magic essay, checking for any errors while Albus was pouring over a large text. Suddenly Albus let out a sigh and slammed the book shut causing Scorpius to jump.

"I'm going to take you out." Albus said, looking up at him.

"What?" Scorpius asked bewildered, wondering what had gotten into the boy.

"Hogsmead trip this weekend," he shrugged, grabbing another book and placing on top of the one he just closed. "It kind of bothers me that we haven't had an actual date yet."

Scorpius smiled and got up, walking to stand behind Albus. He placed his hands on the boys shoulders and started rubbing soothing circles into his flesh. He felt Albus relax into him and smiled. "Sometimes I wonder where your head is. " Scorpius chuckle, moving to kiss Albus' cheek. "Thank you."

Albus turned to smile up at him. "It isn't something that requires great praise, a date is what couples do." he gave a shrug and turned back to his book.

"No, not for the date..." Scorpius shook his head, "for making everything seem normal."

Albus turned around and stood up, placing a hand on Scorpius' cheek. "I love you," he smiled and kissed Scorpius once before returning back to his work.

.: .: .:

The Hogsmead weekend came and Scorpius was led out by Albus. The boy had been very secretive about everything that they were going to do, only telling Scorpius that they would be going to Hogsmead.

The first place Albus dragged Scorpius too was Honeydukes. Scorpius chuckled as Albus pulled him in. He should have known that they were going to end up making a stop there. Albus had the biggest sweet tooth.

Once they were done in the sweets shop, their pockets weighing down with sweets that would be gone in a moth, Scorpius was dragged down the streets of Hogsmead. No matter how many times Scorpius asked where they were going, Albus just brushed him off. The dark haired Slytherin would change the subject or wave at classmates who passed, pretending he didn't hear his lover.

They had made a lap around the main street when Scorpius was getting annoyed. He got a little angry when Albus pulled him into the three broomsticks, thinking that if they were just going to have lunch there then there shouldn't have been that much of a fuss.

"Calm down Scor. I'm only picking something up." Albus tried to tame the annoyance that was growing in Scorpius. He dragged them into the pub and stopped by two Ravenclaw girls, Cordella and Krystal. Scorpius stood to the side as Albus exchanged a few words with the girls, both laughing at whatever it was he said. After what seemed like eternity, Albus reached passed them and grabbed two chilled pumpkin juices and said goodbye.

"Alright Scor," Albus said smiling, "Our date is ready." There was a glint in his eyes and Scorpius wondered just what it was that he was getting into.

A picnic. That was what Albus had planned.

The boy had dragged him into the woods before the Shrieking Shack and after a few minutes of walking, they were in a small meadow. There was a bright green blanket in the center of the clearing. Multiple jars of bright and colorful fires were placed around the meadow, keeping it as warm as possible. There was a small feast arranged on the blanket and Scorpius smirked.

"Just what is it that we owe those two Ravenclaws now?" Scorpius asked as he walked into the middle of the meadow, the warmth of the colorful flowers filling the air.

"They made me promise that they would be invited to our wedding." Albus shrugged and plopped down in the center of everything, pulling Scorpius down onto his lap.

"And just who said that we were going to have a wedding?" Scorpius smirked, shifting to get more comfortable. Hands came to steady his hips, stopping all movement.

"Quit squirming Scorpius, I'm trying to be a gentleman." Scorpius smirked and stretched out, reaching for the sandwiches. Albus groaned out at the movement. This will be an fun date, Scorpius thought as he shifted on Albus' lap again.

.: .: .:

They were in Care of Magical Creatures. It was one of their lecture days and they were in the classroom that was rarely used. At the moment, Scorpius was really annoyed. Albus had been ignoring what was going on, forcing Scorpius to take all the notes for him if he wanted to know what was happening in the class. Along with that, he had been passing notes with Collins the entire time. Albus wasn't even trying to pay attentions from what Scorpius could tell, focusing solely on what the girl was writing back to him. Scorpius was just about fed up.

The bell rang and Scorpius saw Collins give Albus a pointed look before walking out of the room. Albus let out a sigh and folded the note, putting it in his pocket. "ready to go?" he asked, standing up.

Scorpius rose his eyebrow at Albus but stood none the less. "What was that about?" He asked.

"Oh, nothing," Albus answer, walking out the door. Scorpius rolled his eyes and followed him out. obviously it was about something. Albus was just as stubborn as he was, Scorpius wasn't going to find out what was going on without some creative thinking.

Scorpius grabbed Albus' hand as they walked down the halls towards their dorm, a plan already formulating in his mind. As soon as they were in the dungeons, Scorpius pushed Albus up against a wall, pressing his lips to the other boy's. As soon as he knew that Albus was fully distracted, he let his hands wander on the Slytherin's chest, a smirk fighting its way onto his otherwise buys lips.

He brushed the boy's sides and ran his hands through the raven hair. Eventually his hands came to Albus' robe pockets. Just in time he managed to grab the parchment that contained the notes and slip them into his own before Albus turned them and took control.

Albus grabbed both of Scorpius' hands and held them about his head as he pulled away. "Just what do you think you are doing?" he asked, a smirk sliding across his face.

"Kissing my boyfriend," came Scorpius' smooth reply as he tried to tug his hands out of the other boy's hands. "Is something wrong with that?"

Albus raised his eyebrows but let go of Scorpius' hands. "It is when he's a pick pocket." he responded. Before Scorpius could get out a reply, Albus leaned down and kissed him once more, not being discrete as he reached into Scorpius' pocket and pulled the note back out.

Scorpius bit on Albus' lip causing the boy the pull away.

"What the hell Scor!" he yelled, glaring at the boy, "Are you trying to tear my lip off."

"No," Scorpius said, "That would make for horrid kissing. What I am trying to do, though, is figure out what you and Collins were talking about." He glared back at Albus and crossed his arms. He didn't see why the two would be conversing or why it was what was most important during that class period.

"Oh that's right," Albus said, tapping a finger against his chin in mock contemplation. "We had a class didn't we. Can you tell me what it was about?"

"Augureys. You can read my notes later." Scorpius wasn't going to back down.

"I don't want to read your notes," Albus grinned at him, "It would be nice if you told me what you remember, I like your voice."

"I don't care if you don't want to read my notes, I want to read yours." Scorpius knew that Albus was trying to change the subject on him and he just wasn't having it. He was determined to stay on topic and find out what it was that Albus was hiding from him.

"I wasn't this pushy with you, was I? When you had secret letters and when you were hiding something from me, did I push this much? No, so please give me the benefit of the doubt." Albus started to argue, practically shouting at him now. The anger from being kept in the dark about everything wrong with Scorpius seeping into the argument they were currently having.

"That's completely different!" Scorpius shouted back, "I was trying to protect you and it was something more personal than just a round of notes. Give _me _the benefit of the doubt and let me know what is going on. Maybe I could help, I want to know what's going on with you Albus."

"Just a round of notes," Albus mocked, crossing his arms, "Don't you dare tell me that this is any different. You don't think that maybe _I _could have helped earlier, that _I _wanted to know what was going on with someone I love."

Scorpius sighed, looking into Albus' emerald eyes. They weren't arguing about the note anymore and Scorpius knew it.

"What do you want me to do Albus? Go back in time and change how things went about? Do you want me to magically stop myself from getting this disease. I can't, and even if I could I would guarantee you that you still wouldn't know about it. But you're right, you have been helping, and I can help with whatever you are dealing with as well."

" Obviously I haven't been helping enough, otherwise you would _want_ to keep things the way they were if you had the chance to change everything. The night I found out about you was the best night of my life. I stopped worrying about what you were hiding from me and I was finally able to act on what was keeping us apart. I thought that you would at least overlook the fact that you don't want any help on anything in life if it threatened our relationship." Albus was glaring down at Scorpius, his face red in anger. His hands were clenched in fist at his sides, the veins in his arms straining against his skin.

"That's not what I meant and you know it," Scorpius tried to say calmly, though it came out too harsh. "I didn't want any help or any pity. I wanted to go through life and pretend that I was normal for as long as I could. I wanted to be able to say that I didn't let this disease get to me until it finally took me in."

"You want to be normal!?" Albus yelled, "Many wouldn't consider our relationship normal, do you want that over as well? Do you even care about the people around you? Honestly, how do you think I would have felt to open a letter saying that you died, or worse yet, what if it happened in Hogwarts. What if I didn't know what was going on and went to wake you up one day and you were dead!? You're a selfish prat who doesn't see what is right in front of him. You think you are protecting everyone else around you but you are really only protecting yourself! You really want to know what Cordella and I were talking about!? Fine!" Albus reached into his robe pocket and threw the parchment at Scorpius. "I wasn't going to tell you because I was trying to protect our relationship. I already know how you will react once you read them." With that, Albus turned on his heel and walked up the stairs.

"Great, Scorpius, just great," he muttered to himself, bending down to pick up the parchment. He let out a sigh and debated running after Albus. Deciding that it would be best to let the other boy cool down for a bit, Scorpius continued his way towards the dormitory. Once he got there he plopped himself on his bed.

Scorpius laid there for a while, contemplating just exactly how he was going to fix everything with Albus. The parchment was burning in his pocket and he pulled the sheet out. Twirling the folded square in his fingers, he questioned if it would be best if he didn't read the note. After all, Albus was supposedly trying to protect him from the contents of the note.

Curiosity got the best of him and Scorpius slowly opened the note and began to read. Collins' curving script filled the top parts of the note.

_'I did some research on the topic you asked about the other day. So far I haven't found anything close to a cure. I sent a letter to my mother and she said that she didn't know much about it, except that most people with the disease don't live past the age of twenty.'_

_'That's as much as I have found as well. No medication or anything.'_

_'My mother said that it is such a rare disease that they put finding a cure on hold for other things.'_

_'I can't believe that.'_

The note went on as they discussed what Scorpius could only guest to be gernastic disease. He skimmed the content, already knowing most of the facts that were spouted on the page. They had multiple books on it at the manor and Scorpius had read through all of them at least twice before. It was when he saw his name on the page that Scorpius started reading again.

_'Why do you want to know so much about this anyway?'_

_'Someone I know has it' _

_'Is it Scorpius?'_

_'No, Scor is fine, it's my second cousin on my mom's side. We got the news on Chelsea over the Yule break.'_

_'Oh, okay'_

_'Why did you think it was him?'_

_'No reason really.'_

_'Tell me.'_

_'Fine, it's just that he had missed a day or two at least once a month and dropped out of ancient ruins. I don't talk to him much, but I know that was his favorite subject and I saw him having a hard time getting to class earlier this year.'_

_'Oh that's nothing, his aunt is going through rough times right now and he has gotten permission from the school to go and help her every now and then. Sometimes it takes longer than he thinks.'_

_'What's wrong with her?'_

_'Not really my business to say, I don't even know entirely what is happening.'_

_'Are you sure he is okay? He is still glaring at us'_

The note ended their and Scorpius assumed that the bell had rung before they could continue with the conversation. He couldn't believe that Albus was digging into his problems and that he was bringing Collins into it all. Actually, he could believe it. He should have suspected Albus to search for information on what was happening and not rest until he found something that would help out. That was what made Albus a Slytherin, Scorpius believed, the boy's determination to do what he felt he should, whether or not someone didn't want him to do it.

He was grateful that Albus had diverged the topic away from him, but Scorpius knew that a few well placed lies would do nothing to sway the Ravenclaw. She suspected too much and Scorpius would have to be more careful around her from now on.

Scorpius stared up at the curtains of his four poster bed and wondered just what he was going to do to fix the mess he inadvertently place himself in. A few hours had passed and he realized that he had missed one class and dinner as well. Albus hadn't come back yet either and he knew that the boy hadn't gone to dinner when their other dorm mates started to trail in.

"Scor, Al? You in here?" Scorpius heard one of them call out, "you decent?" called another voice followed by chuckle and what sounded like someone's hand hitting the back of his head.

"Yeah," Scorpius replied, reluctantly opening the curtains and looking up at the three other boys.

"Where's Al?" Crag asked.

"Not sure," Scorpius shrugged and stood up, making his was out of the room.

"You two having a row or something?"

"Or something... I'm gonna go take a bath,"

"Alright well I hope everything works out"

Scorpius made his way out of the room, but instead of going to the bath room he walked out of the common room and headed towards the front door. He knew where Albus would be if he didn't show up to dinner. Scorpius had to fix what he messed up.

Keeping Albus in his mind the entire trek, he made his way out of the castle and into the blistering cold winds, heading towards the quidditch pitch.

When he got there is saw the green clad rider flying around the pitch. Albus was doing lazy circles around the entire stadium and Scorpius sighed in relief, hopefully most of the boys anger had been dispersed.

There was no way that Albus would be able to see him down on the ground so Scorpius started to make his way up the stands. When he finally made it he sat down in the middle conjuring a blanket to wrap around himself. He would wait for Albus to see and approach him.

It didn't take long, once more around the pitch before Albus saw him. It was obvious when the boy first saw Scorpius, as he took a sharp turn and flew straight at him.

"Scorpius, what are you doing out here?" He asked, jumping off his broom and walking up to him.

"I could ask you the same question" he replied, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah, but I won't be mistaken for a ghost." Albus conjured up another blanket and wrapped it around Scorpius, sitting next to him. "Merlin you're freezing" he pulled out his wand again and created a small blue fire that floated in front of them.

"Albus stop fussing over me,"

"No I won't, let's get you back inside, or to the locker rooms at least." He started pulling on Scorpius, trying to get him to stand up and move.

"No, Albus, what I said earlier, about wanting to change you knowing-"

"Can we talk about this later Scorpius, your lips are blue,"

"Then why don't you warm them up, " he replied sarcastically before continuing. " You know I love you, I wouldn't do anything that would stop what we have right now, I was an idiot before we were together and now that I know what it is like to really be with you, I kick myself all the time for everything that I missed. I'm sorry."

"Forgiven, alright," Albus pressed his lips against his in a quick kiss, "Merlin you're cold, let's get to the locker room."

"Could say the same about you" Scorpius chuckled, standing up finally with Albus, letting the boy fuss over him. "How about we have a hot shower together?"

.: .: .:

The school year finished and the NEWTs were just as hard as everyone made them out to be. Once the final test had been turned in Albus gave Scorpius a passionate kiss, expressing how glad he was that they made it through their last year. Scorpius was glad as well, he didn't think that he would have lasted this long.

"So what it is that you want to do now?" Albus asked, raising his eyebrows at him. "We are officially through with Hogwarts."

Scorpius chucked and wrapped an arm around Albus' waist, directing them towards the doors. "I feel like taking a stroll around the lake."

Albus grinned, "I like that idea." With that they walked out the door, Albus shifting so they were holding hands. They were silent as they made their way towards the water that winked at them under the gaze of the sun. The was a slight breeze that turned the man's raven hair this was and that, causing it to be even more of a mess then in usually was.

"Scor," Albus said after they had walked to the other side of the lake, tugging on his hand to stop him. Scorpius raised an eyebrow at the man. He was perfectly content with walking in the silence.

"I just-" Albus cleared his throat, "I just wanted to say that you are the best thing that has happened to me. I don't care what happens in the future, only what happens now. We have spent too long not doing anything about what we have between us and I don't want that to happen. You will not be a 'what if' in my life. I can't let that happen, I don't care about anything else but us." His pricing emerald eyes we focused on Scorpius' silver ones and he dropped to one knee, "Marry me, Scorpius, please."

His heart swelled at the small speech that Albus had made. The look in his lovers eyes was raw and passionate, almost a desperate hope hidden in the depths. Scorpius could see what Albus was promising, the life they would have ahead of them, no matter how short it was. "Where's the ring?" Scorpius asked with a challenging smirk.

Albus rolled his eye and reached into his pocket, "Ever the critic," he sighed and pulled out a golden band. "Can I get a real answer now?"

Scorpius took the ring from Albus and gave it a once over. It was a thin golden band, a small diamond embedded in its center, two smaller emeralds on each side of it. Scorpius shrugged and handed the ring back to Albus, trying to hold back his chuckle at the man's look. "Yes, Albus." He grinned at him, "But only if you put it on me."

Once more Albus rolled his eyes, smiling broadly up at Scorpius. He stood, "Of course," he drawled out, leaning in to kiss him. In the midst of their embrace, Scorpius felt Albus grab his hand and slid the ring on his finger. He smiled into the kiss even more, liking the feel of the cool metal on his skin.

.: .: .:

The wedding as short and sweet. Unable to decide which of them would be the one to walk down the aisle, Cordella gave them the idea of both of them walking at the same time. They came from opposite sides of the room and both of their moms cried at the ceremony. It was kept small to where only their family and a few close friends were invited, though Scorpius joked that with most of Albus' family there it was far from small. The two decided to forgo a honeymoon, saying that they were in no need of that.

They moved into a flat at the edge of Diagon alley, the first year paid off as a wedding gift from Scorpius' family. The summer was hot and took its toll on Scorpius. The man was admitted to the hospital three times. Scorpius believed that Albus just worried over him too much and only really needed to go to St. Mungo's once.

September rolled around and the winter winds started rolling in. Much to Albus' displeasure, Scorpius liked to sit out on the patio and watch at people went about their day.

"You look like you should be an old person yelling at the kids to stay off the lawn" Albus commented once when he was trying to get Scorpius back inside.

"I feel like an old person." Scorpius chuckled, and went inside none the less to humor his husband. "You worry too much"

"I worry just enough"

.: .: .:

When Scorpius woke up in the middle I October he knew something was wrong. He was lying in bed and didn't feel any energy to get out. his throat was soar from coughing all last night. It was hard to breath. He must have been gasping because he saw Albus come rushing in. He moved quickly to his side, reaching out to grab his shoulders.

Another bought of coughing overtook him. He didn't have enough strength to even cover his mouth. Albus rolled him to his side, conjuring a handkerchief to wipe at his mouth. Scorpius felt pathetic and weak, but he managed to look up at Albus and convey his thanks.

When he looked up at Albus and saw an expression he didn't ever want to see. There was a panic brewing in the back of his lover's emerald eyes. His face was pale and Scorpius didn't know if it was Albus or him that was shaking their conjoined hands.

Albus stared to pull away, reaching for his wand. Scorpius knew what he was going to do. He was going to summon St. Mungo's again. Scorpius was going to be admitted in and he would have to find new answers to all the questions that would be thrown his way if he survived.

Scorpius shook his head no, stopping Albus. "N-no Mungo's" Scorpius breathed out. He didn't want to go back there. He didn't want to see the greens of the walls, the rushing of the healers, he didn't want to prolong it anymore. He didn't want to cause anymore pain, knowing that the longer they dragged this out, the more it would hurt later.

Albus looked at him for a few seconds, clutching his wand. He must have seen something in him, the man closed his eyes . "Alright," He said nodding. "Alright," he breathed again, opening his eyes and looking at Scorpius. He slipped into the bed next to Scorpius and wrapped his arms around him. Scorpius leaned over and kisses Albus in thanks.

"Love… you," Scorpius managed to say, looking up at Albus. He wanted those words to be the last thing that Albus heard from him. His famous last words.

"I lo-love you too," Albus croaked, and summoned a wet cloth, dabbing it at the sweat that was gathering on the blonde's brow. Albus rubbed a hand up and down Scorpius' arm, giving him as much comfort as he could, whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Scorpius eventually fell asleep again and started to dream of Albus and the life he wished they could have.

.: .: .:

Albus watched Scorpius as he fell asleep. He worried his bottom lip as his husband twitched in the bed. Coming in and out of sleep. Albus did his best to keep his tears back, hoping as much as he could that Scorpius would pull through like he always did. He tightened his grip on Scorpius as the man fell still. His breathing was raggedness and then finally that too fell silent.

Albus started to shake, he felt as if his chest had collapsed in and he found it hard to breath. The tears welled up in his eyes even more and finally fell, lading on the body of his husband. After the first tears fell, Albus clung to whatever he could, his body convulsing in sobs.

.: .: .:

In the week following, Albus was surrounded by people. Their fridge was full of food that people had made him and his sister, Lily, was always over at flat to help plan the funeral. He was kept so busy with everything and with everyone that he hardly had any time to let what had happened fully sink in. It was only at nights when he was lying on the couch (he could bring himself to go into their room yet) that he allowed himself to let everything get to him. He almost understood where Scorpius was coming from before they got together about how it would be easier if they didn't. Albus knew that he wouldn't change a single thing that happened. He only wished that Scorpius would have been with him longer.

The funeral was an event. Albus kept himself from breaking down entirely in front of his and Scorpius' family. It was only when Astoria came to him, tears running down her face, that Albus broke for a split second.

A year passed, Albus got used to going through life and not seeing Scorpius. He hated it. For a year he couldn't bring himself to do much of anything. Astoria came by one day and smacked him out of it. She yelled at him saying that Scorpius wouldn't want him moping around the place and having their flat a wreck. She forced him to clean out the place. She only allowed him to keep pictures of Scorpius, anything else had to go. It almost tore him to shreds, but he knew that the woman was right.

It was when he was cleaning out their files that he found his NEWT scores. There was also a letter from McGonagall giving him options that he can do based off of past interviews and his scores. Only one profession stood out to Albus and he suddenly knew what he was going to do with his life.

.: .: .:

14 years later

"Hello," Albus' voice rang across the room, magnified to reach the back corners. The flashes of the camera annoyed him and he resisted the urge to cover his eyes.

"I must say, I wish Scorpius could see me now." A chuckle ran through the room and he looked out and saw James give him a thumbs up in encouragement. "For those of you who don't know, Scorpius is my-" he cleared his throat, "He's the reason that I went into this profession. The reason I focused on this disease as well. Many people told me that there would never be a cure, but I wouldn't have that. I had to find one so that nobody else would go through what Scor and I went through." Albus paused, shuffling his notes, "Today, I am proud to announce that we have done the supposed impossible. My team and I have created the cure, and even if it is fifteen years, three months, and twenty-two days too late for me," Albus paused as a small chuckle ran through the room, "It will benefit anyone going through gernastic disease."

Applause filled the room and cameras flashed even more. Questions were shouted his way, but Albus ignored them. He looked up at the sky and smiled. Scorpius would be proud of him.

* * *

_AN: I told you that it would make you feel everything. _

_Anyway, this was my first attempt at anything M rated, and though it only holds one part in this story, I thought it was crucial. How did I do with that? _

_Another thing, is it weird that the date was the last thing I wrote. All the depressing stuff I was "Yeah this is amazing!" and then we got to the cute stuff and I was all "I'll come back to that…." _

_anyway, I really do hope that y'all liked it, and I would love it if I had feedback. _


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